The power of relaxation
How do you feel in your body?
I never realised just how much tension I held within me. Honestly, I thought I had managed to eliminate most of it through kundalini yoga. Yet, like everything else, I’ve only peeled a few layers from the onion of my perpetual tension.
I never thought I lived my life in a constant state of tension, bracing myself for the challenges ahead, just marching through it while holding everything together and keeping total control. I tensed every muscle possible, rarely looking around or allowing myself to experience full presence and truly feel my feelings. I’ve been teaching the importance of feeling emotions for six years now, yet I’ve only just begun to uncover my typical way of living - tense as a bowstring, pushing through life without realising how hard this approach is on my nervous system.
Even after my adrenals became severely fatigued, I kept pushing forward. This is what I learned from my parents: you keep going; there’s no time to relax.
Through my daily practice, I discovered that I embraced the active, pushing aspect of kundalini yoga. Please don’t misunderstand me; that part of yoga is incredible. I needed it to regain my physical strength. However, the time came when I had to step back and embrace the more feminine practices of yoga nidra and relaxation. And let me tell you what I uncovered. I found the mother of all tensions within my body. I had been operating in a state of perpetual tension. When I began to release that tension, I felt tired - like I’d never felt tired before. You see, I’m not accustomed to having my muscles relaxed. It feels strange, not being tense. I keep slipping back into my old habits of bracing for life, holding my metaphorical sword in hand. Instead of trusting life, trusting that I am safe and that I can afford to live a relaxed life - be in the moment and surrender to the ever-evolving life force on this planet - I’ve been clinging to my tension.
Yet, I’m celebrating my tiredness. At last, I’ve entered the portal to awaken my femininity. Tiredness is the first thing you’ll encounter on this journey. I denied myself relaxation for so long. The brief periods of relaxation I had were merely short respites from my daily tension. Now, I want relaxation to be my way of life, reserving tension only for emergencies when I need to spring into action. I no longer wish to face life in a tense body.
Women are not designed to be in a constant state of productivity or unending tension. Our natural state is relaxation. When we are relaxed, we access our superpowers - our heart energy, intuition, senses, and instincts. When we are tense and insecure, we can only rely on our limited rational minds, which are easily swayed.
How do you feel about relaxation?
Do you allow yourself to live a relaxed life?